At some point or another, you’ve probably had an internal conversation with yourself justifying that next drink. For example, “well I don’t start call until midnight so I can have a drink or two with dinner” or maybe “I need to drive my kids home after this party, but I’ll just have one more because it’s only a few blocks.”

Let me introduce you to what Annie calls the Liberation vs. Fixation Scale. She came up with this to help her gauge who was in control - the person or the booze.

It’s fair to say that I am a bit of a control freak. I was furious when I realized alcohol took me out of the driver’s seat and I didn’t even know it was happening until it was too late.

When I entered a gathering and immediately wondered “when is someone going to offer me a drink?” - alcohol had control. On a flight to my Texan inlaws, the flight attendants couldn’t get their carts out fast enough so I could order a drink - again, controlled by alcohol.

When we fixate on drinking, we know we have lost some (or maybe all) of the power in this relationship with alcohol. It’s a scary thing to feel helpless in a bad relationship and this is where I landed, without even knowing how I got there.

The Liberation vs. Fixation Scale can help you stay in control and it can help you see if you’re losing power. It’s liberating to have someone offer you a drink and be able to TRULY feel like you could take or leave it. And it’s even more liberating to pass and order an iced tea and as a result wake up the next morning feeling rested and ready for the day.

If moderation is your goal, then it’s important for you to decide what that means for you - maybe it means one glass of wine with dinner on Friday night. Or maybe it means two drinks a month. This is unique for everyone, but the important thing is to define it for you. This will help you use the Liberation vs. Fixation Scale in the most effective way. And I’ll support you whatever you decide!