So the time has come for you to make a choice. One of several things could describe you as a drinker moving forward. You might be someone who has really struggled throughout this experiment and you continue to feel attached to drinking. Perhaps you’ll take another 30 days and continue alcohol free to see what happens. Maybe you’ll be someone who tries to moderate your drinking. There’s no wrong answer here. There’s no judgment. This is your decision.

Set rules that you are absolutely NOT willing to break. For example, when I decided to quit, I decided that alcohol had robbed me from too many memories. I was no longer going to allow drinking to rob me of moments I couldn’t get back. Fortunately, since then I haven’t had the desire to drink at all, so I have been fully present for years.

If you choose to return to drinking, get mindful about the things that drinking has taken from you and then set down some solid, non-negotiable guardrails. Maybe you’ll decide that you’ll no longer drink to the point of getting sick. Maybe alcohol has cost you the freedom of driving and you will no longer, under ANY circumstance, get behind the wheel after even one drink. Whatever this means for you, spend some going through what this will look like for you, make the decision, and own it. No more blaming your stressful day, your spouse, your kids, or your co-workers for your poor choices. Your choices are yours.

Moderation should come with a sign that says ‘enter with caution’. While I do believe that for some, it is possible to achieve a controlled relationship with alcohol, it’s key to remember that alcohol is addictive - nobody is immune - because it has nothing to do with you. It’s addictive to any breathing being. Multiple studies done on lab rats will tell you that. To choose moderating your drinking ultimately means you’re signing up for constant decision making. There is always an internal dialogue happening that will keep you on a slippery slope. Should I drink tonight? And if I do, what should I drink and how many? We all know that we lose our ability to make good decisions as we drink, so we’ve already put ourselves in jeopardy of losing control once we have that first drink. You might find that your intention was to have 1 glass of wine, but wake up the next morning realizing you polished off the bottle (ask me how I know).

At some point or another, you’ve probably had an internal conversation with yourself justifying that next drink. For example, “well I don’t start call until midnight so I can have a drink or two with dinner” or maybe “I need to drive my kids home after this party, but I’ll just have one more because it’s only a few blocks.”

Let me introduce you to what Annie calls the Liberation vs. Fixation Scale. She came up with this to help her gauge who was in control - the person or the booze.

It’s fair to say that I am a bit of a control freak. I was furious when I realized alcohol took me out of the driver’s seat and I didn’t even know it was happening until it was too late.

When I entered a gathering and immediately wondered “when is someone going to offer me a drink?” - alcohol had control. On a flight to my Texan inlaws, the flight attendants couldn’t get their carts out fast enough so I could order a drink - again, controlled by alcohol.

We are all human and therefore capable of mistakes. This is really difficult for responders, who witness humanity’s mistakes as a part of our jobs! It’s important to remember that we are not immune to falling victim to accidents and mistakes. It’s important to remember this in the event of a slip-up. The good news is that you are now equipped to get back on the right path.

One of the most important lessons in life is that our mistakes should be viewed as a learning moment. I try to remember, “it’s not winning and losing, it is winning and learning.” If we don’t utilize our slip-ups and bad choices to teach us something, then we are more likely to make the same mistake again. If you’re a parent, you’ve likely taken your children’s mistakes and turned them into a chance to teach, that is how they learn. But this doesn’t only apply to kids. All throughout life, we make a bad choice here and there and if we don’t learn from those moments, we are actually missing out on an opportunity to grow.

Addiction is not a malfunction, it is your brain and body were acting exactly as it is supposed to when exposed to alcohol!

I frequently hear that “a glass or two of wine a day is actually good for you”. Well, let’s hold that thought for a minute and instead talk about the negative effects on your health and then you can decide if the ‘possible’ benefits really outweigh the negatives. Your body and the way it works is nothing if not a miracle. We have an unspoken ‘tit for tat’ relationship with it - in other words, ‘you take good care of me and I’ll take good care of you’. So, let’s explore if drinking alcohol is one of the ways we can take good care of our bodies.

Abraham Maslow developed what is called the ‘hierarchy of needs’. This concept, which is illustrated through the use of a pyramid visual, describes how basic needs (i.e. food and water) must be met before more moving up the pyramid to the next most important needs, much as safety and security. The idea continues up each level to more complex, sociological needs including the need to feel part of a group. I notice that when my basic needs were not met on scene or over a long call shift, I can not connect as well with myself or others. When you stay in this state, never feeling safe or secure, long term issues arise.

If we’re willing to really look at the reasons we’ve come to believe cause our drinking, we might find out that some of those reasons are part of this process - our needs that aren’t being met in life, we now believe that alcohol is the answer to meeting those needs.

Drinking isn’t just bad for you internally, you can also see the effects outside - on your skin, in your hair, eyes, teeth, and overall body (smell and size).

Big Alcohol’s marketing and advertising take full advantage of people attention. They know that the public will catch a glimpse of a headline saying something like “Research shows that 2 glasses of red wine at night is good for your heart” and since so many people are looking for affirmation that drinking is okay, they read no further and check no further facts. I would love to see a commercial for some kind of alcohol that shows that picturesque life - swinging on the porch, sipping wine with two kids playing in the yard and the white picket fence. At the end is that list of 50 things you can expect as negative side effects by ingesting this drink - to include cancer, poor judgment, domestic violence, vomiting, hangovers, nausea, hepatic encephalopathy, erectile dysfunction... to name just a few.

This course should not substitute talking to a licensed medical doctor and/or therapist and/or taking your prescription medication.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and medication.

When we make drinking a habit, our body becomes conditioned to this habit and starts to release these mood-altering chemicals before we have taken our first sip. Now it takes more alcohol to achieve the buzz we chase because we are starting out below the baseline. If you aren’t yet convinced that this is a big deal, hold tight. I want to finish. Because we are stimulating our brains with something unnatural, not only does it, over time, take away our ability to get a buzz off one drink, but it takes away our ability to get pleasure out of other activities we used to enjoy - like game night with your kids or dinner with your spouse. We have now conditioned our minds to believe that we have to be drinking to enjoy everyday activities. You can’t pick and choose what the booze numbs - from the bad cases to the cuddles with your dog - it’s all going to feel fuzzy without that drink.

Just like everything in life, boredom at its worst can have negative effects (this is why they use solitary confinement as a form of punishment). But for our purposes, I want you to start to consider that maybe boredom can be something other than a negative thing. How would it look if you saw boredom as an opportunity? An opportunity to do something you’ve always wanted to do. I know I had a list of ‘goals’ as long as my arm when I first quit drinking so I finally had time to start to accomplish those things. I’ve read hundreds of books (and remember reading them!), I started this business, I am weight training and doing yoga, and I’ve written two books! This is a list of a few of the things I’ve been able to accomplish as a result of “boredom.”

Many studies have concluded that the mind cannot discern a true memory from a strongly visualized memory. Many of you my have learned this about eye witnesses - they’re actually not that great at remembering things! I am going to encourage you to use this to your advantage. Close your eyes and walk through a scenario where you may be tempted to order a drink, but instead of ordering a glass of wine, you order iced tea. Be intentional about this scenario you create and get as specific as you want. Visualize yourself going to that wedding reception or class reunion and having a great time, laughing, dancing, and sipping on a tonic water and lime instead of a martini.

Since this is an experiment, it’s the perfect time to try out some different things and “experiment” with new activities. Instead of “meeting for a drink” after work, try taking your shiftmates to a spin class. Take your date for a picnic sans the champagne and instead with a flavored water. Meeting for brunch or coffee on a Sunday morning is a great alternative. If you’re an introvert, embrace it and love who you were made to be. If going out to loud, chaotic bars requires you to drink in order to feel comfortable, then it’s okay to opt out and instead spend a quiet night in with a good book and a cup of tea or hot cocoa. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better in the morning when you wake up!

The goal of this experiment is to find harmony between your subconscious and your conscious mind. Mindfulness will be key in your effort to achieve this.

We are going to discuss urges and cravings - these are normal and to be expected, but how you deal with them must involve mindfulness. Studies have shown that ignoring urges only makes them stronger. When the urge to drink comes, take a real look at it instead of ignoring it.

When you have an urge to drink, be mindful of the emotions and feelings surrounding this urge. The goal here is to interrupt the cycle happening in your brain. Keep in mind that practice makes perfect and the most practice you give your brain at dealing with urges in this mindful way, the easier it will become to resist them.

Where did we form the idea that a few drinks will make sex better? I mean, research has shown that drinking decreases testosterone in both men and women. The super unsexy outcomes of decreased testosterone include: shrunken testicles, erectile dysfunction, decreased libido, hair loss, and the debatable worst one? ANORGASMIA! Yes, that’s a word and it means the inability to have an orgasm. Those are just a few examples, by the way....the list goes on and is rather long - and yet we argue that a few drinks helps with sex?

I have a secret....and for some, this will be hard to believe, but SOBER SEX IS BETTER! It really is (ask my husband)! When your central nervous system, circulation, respiration, are all in working order, sex takes on a whole new level of enjoyment.

Have you ever stopped to think about how wonderfully complex our minds and brains are? Just think about the measures taken to protect our brains - from football to tornado drills - it’s the first and most important thing we instinctively protect. The drawback to being the proud owner of such a powerful tool is that sometimes we unknowingly misuse it. We can talk ourselves into things and we can talk ourselves out of other things. We can easily make ourselves miserable if we just set our minds to it. Going alcohol free is no exception. If we anticipate that going alcohol free (even for just 30 days) is going to be miserable, you can almost put money on the fact that it will be.

It’s not uncommon for people to replace one bad habit with another. Giving up drinking only to replace it with a sugar addiction is no exception. Don’t be shocked if you get some sugar cravings during this 30-day break from drinking.

It’s no secret that we live in a world that is much more health conscious than it has ever been and I believe this is a major contributing factor to the swing of the pendulum toward not drinking. After all, isn’t eating organic and super healthy somewhat counterproductive if we are only going to ingest known toxins and poison into our system anyway?

Self-talk is powerful. And so is repetition. The marketing industry uses repetition about as well as anyone. It is the art of manipulation, to be honest. If we repeat things over and over and over and over, we begin to believe them.

There are couple of different types of self talk that we’ll focus on. The first is the justifier/convincer. This is that voice we hear that tells us “well, at least you’re not like so and so.” Or “I already had that first drink, so I might as well have another.”

The other type of self talk is the kind that is defeating. The kind that drags us down. The kind that we, in our wildest imagination, would never use with anyone else and likely never allow anyone else to speak to us this way either.

There are a few steps to changing this negative self talk. The first step is to become aware and recognize that you’re doing it. Then, in an effort to change, there are a few additional steps that might feel awkward to go through at first, but they work! Writing your thoughts down will help tremendously. It takes work to break a habit and it takes work to form a new one. So, stick with it and you will start to see changes in the way you speak to yourself.

When we touch something hot, our brain gets a message instantly that tells us to pull back. When we smell something awful, we cover our nose or maybe even gag a little. We rely on these senses on the scene: whether you work as a first responder or a last responder, we all enter our scenes cautiously at first so that we can get the most information to process what to do next.

The effect that drinking has on our senses and our central nervous system is that it depresses it and slows it down - similar to an injured brain. This explains our poor decision making, our lack of forming memories and having no clue what happened last night, and it explains why we shouldn’t drive under the influence. Our processing is slowed and our senses dulled. And we did this to our body voluntarily!

It’s interesting, isn’t it? The amount of shame that surrounds turning down a drink? My heart breaks every time I hear or read a story about a young college kid who is ‘hazed’ and it ends in a life lost. Alcohol is inevitably involved. I always wonder “did that young man/woman want to say no, but just couldn’t”? The sad part is, we congratulate a smoker for kicking the habit. But our society shames the individual who passes on a drink.

So, we’ll examine this. What is the reason that our friends and maybe even our family don’t want us to quit drinking? Or even cut back? Perhaps they don’t want to lose their drinking partner/buddy and they fear that they will have to cut back too or find someone new to fill your role. It could also be that they feel their own drinking should be questioned, but this puts them on the defensive.

Recent studies have been conducted to examine this topic of willpower and, interestingly, what they found is that willpower is much like the life of your phone’s battery. When the battery (or willpower in this case) is low, there’s not much we can do until it’s recharged.

Our brains require a healthy balance of a variety of chemicals. When we introduce alcohol into our systems, we set in motion a domino effect of chemical changes that leave us feeling worse than we did before we took that first sip. As we wade further into the imbalance, our brain begins to slow down and the biological response is that we slur, we lose the ability to make good choices, and we lose the clarity we need to form memories. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “It’s not you....it’s me”. In this case, you can confidently say to alcohol, “It’s not me....it’s you”. You (alcohol) are to blame for my hangovers, my cravings, my indiscretions. It’s time to take the control back from this wicked, mind-altering (literally) poison.

Expectations are everything!

What is your why? Why do you think you like to drink? Why are you trying to stop drinking?