“I can’t believe how stupid you are”
“You did it again”
“You’ll never get what you want”
These are all statements that, at some point in my life, I said to myself. But imagine if the parent sitting next to me at my kids’ PTA meeting said that to me. They’d get a taste of my OC spray!
Self-talk is powerful. And so is repetition. The marketing industry uses repetition about as well as anyone. It is the art of manipulation, to be honest. If we repeat things over and over and over and over, we begin to believe them.
There are couple of different types of self talk that we’ll focus on. The first is the justifier/convincer. This is that voice we hear that tells us “well, at least you’re not like so and so.” Or “I already had that first drink, so I might as well have another.”
The other type of self talk is the kind that is defeating. The kind that drags us down. The kind that we, in our wildest imagination, would never use with anyone else and likely never allow anyone else to speak to us this way either.
There are a few steps to changing this negative self talk. The first step is to become aware and recognize that you’re doing it. Then, in an effort to change, there are a few additional steps that might feel awkward to go through at first, but they work! Writing your thoughts down will help tremendously. It takes work to break a habit and it takes work to form a new one. So, stick with it and you will start to see changes in the way you speak to yourself.
PS - In today’s ACT, we dig in to how alcohol has become part of the fabric of our culture, not just in America, but the entire planet. Social norms say it’s just expected to drink and, with this in mind, we feel like an outsider when we don’t. It’s really simple to figure out where this belief has come from - believing we won’t fit in if we don’t drink. I mean, we’re overwhelmed with the marketing on a daily basis. But we are going to turn this belief around and I have some tips for you on how to handle the rest of these 30 days when you are in a social setting where drinking is expected. I turn 40 this month so I’ll need ya’ll support too!