Many hands make light work
May 14, 2022
I’m probably in pretty good company here when I say “my job is stressful.” Every single task feels like a heavy lift. One of my biggest complaints is when I have to explain myself to someone else, especially about what I’m doing and why. Even more when their values don’t align with mine – if they don’t find value or importance in what I’m trying to accomplish. I’m holding some really heavy stuff – my families’ wishes, my employers’ expectations (and limitations), justice and identification for my decedents. Instead of crumbling under the weight of it all, I’m asking for more arms to lift me up. Our jobs are never going to get easier, the loads will never feel lighter. When I reach out to my community and share my struggles, it feels like I have other people helping me carry my burden. Thank you so much for showing up!
For a few months in 2010, I was either riding the subway north an hour to the Bronx Zoo or driving an hour west to the Orange County Medical Examiner. It was just me and my brand new 1999 Subaru Outback (which I parked near my apartment for the low price of $495 a month). I cobbled together some sort of income, but it didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. NYC is a hard place to be young and broke. Just when I thought I’d prepared my last raccoon for rabies pathology, the Northern Regional Medical Examiner Office called! Another FSTP alum had an opening for a full-time investigator at the Newark, NJ office. Would I like to interview for it? YOU BET! But first, I have to pull over on the way to this OCOCME call and throw up … I didn’t know it yet but I was pregnant! Isn’t it funny how the universe throws it all at you at once?
I’m going to list the positives about my new job first because that’s how I roll:
1. I interviewed, passed background checks, and got my very own desk in about a month,
2. I got paid a real live salary with benefits! It had been almost two years on the benefits and a year for the salary,
3. The office was busy, and the cases were extremely interesting,
4. The staff was diverse and experienced, including a forensic anthropologist,
5. We worked shifts and didn’t have to take call,
6. No cell phone - work did not come home with us,
7. We didn’t have to transport our own bodies (so no major heavy lifting - yay!)
Now the negatives:
1. Within a few months, I was already wearing maternity pants with my uniform top. I didn’t want to take on a job I couldn’t handle so I probably worked harder and more than I should have while pregnant,
2. Since I knew the management from my training days, everyone thought I was a mole,
3. I had to win everyone over with my gorgeous smile, amazing personality, and hysterical jokes - actually, I won everyone over working my butt off and proving my dedication and skill. I also had to win over the forensic anthropologist who didn’t really want to share her cases with me initially. (PS - I totally won her over and we worked cases while holding hands #BestFriendsForever)
4. My shift was 2-10pm and we worked on Monday - Sunday, off Monday-Tuesday, on Wednesday - Friday, off Saturday - Sunday. (It actually wasn’t that bad, I remember liking it at the time - it just wouldn’t have worked these days)
Next week, I’ll tell you a few stories about cases I worked and what it is like to have a baby while working in death investigation.
PS – If you’re looking to share your story with someone who understands, let’s talk! Book a free coaching call with me– new spots available now! www.forensicsfound.com/dispatch
