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October 22, 2022
Tool #5 - Connection
This was the hardest place for me to grow. I really thought I was the only one struggling. I really thought that I could carry the weight of the job on my shoulders. And yes, now I can admit that I was ashamed that I was affected by it all. Guess what - I’m not alone. I am a living human being who is exposed to the worst day of people's lives during my work shift. I was doing the best I could with the tools I was given. My personal identity was so tied up with my job and if the job made me sad, maybe I wasn't cut out for the life I loved so much. After all, hadn't I signed up for this?!
Using Connection as a tool means sharing vulnerably, openly, and honestly. It means being honest to myself and my family. It means setting boundaries and keeping them. It means living a life of integrity. Every time I tell my story out loud in a podcast (links below) or simply report my feelings in my journal, I feel less alone. Research on responder mental health has proved an increase in resiliency among participants who simply told their stories out loud to trusted co-workers. Brene Brown calls empathy the antidote of shame - and it’s true, that feelings of denial, doubt, anxiety, judgement, and regret whither when you shine a light on them.
My family also needs me to show up for them. They may never understand what we see, do, and feel when we are at work. It is ok to want to protect them from that world. Finding people who know and understand you at work is critical to reconnecting with your people at home.
There are so many cool virtual spaces out there now that we can connect with people like us around the world at any time of day. Some of my best friends are people I’ve met in alcohol-free spaces online, such as the This Naked Mind app. I have over 2,000 forensic death investigator friends in my Facebook group - will you join us? Friend me there! Let’s get to know each other and share our stories! I’ve lost too many responder friends to addiction and mental health issues that I will no longer be quiet. Let’s catch everyone UPSTREAM and build a career that is resilient and long! We are stronger together!
Who are you showing up for today? Can you show up for you?
Check out my guest appearances on the following podcasts:
Tailboard Talks Firefighter podcast: Kat Pope is the last responder you need to know
Alcohol Tipping Point: When work is the reason you drink
Just Science Podcast: Using Forensic Art and Anthropology for Identification
This Naked Mind podcast: trauma and alcohol
Getting BAC2Zero interview with Jeff Graham
Cheers,
Kat
